Something Worth Fighting For
by thelonelyone
Summary: Harm refuses to let go...


Disclaimer: They are still not mine... Sue me and become the proud new owner of nothing...

A/N: I had to take a break from my Through Thick and Thin thing... I decided I'd go back in JAG time.. This piece takes place sometime before all that season nine finale crap happened...so Webb and Mac are still an item, Mac's medical scare is not in the picture, and everyone who should have stayed at JAG is still at JAG... This one's all Harm's POV, and it starts out dark... eventually, this piece began to have tiny streaks of light that started to shine through... there will be no follow up, so yeah...

A/N2: Oh, and, once again, the song used in this piece is one of mine- got the copyright to prove it! I just think it's the perfect song for Harm to be listening to, and since this IS my story... hehehe..

Enjoy.. And please review!!

Something Worth Fighting For

-thelonelyone

She walks in and I can tell that something is wrong. She sits down and I watch her. She avoids looking in my direction, closing her eyes and resting her head against the back of my couch. It's a little after eleven on a Friday night, yet here she is...

We remain silent for awhile, and then, she breaks the silence with words that tear me apart.

"Loving someone so much it hurts has left me broken." She says, her voice low and full of something I have come to know as pain and heartache.

This statement does something on the inside of me...

I think I just felt my world fall to pieces...

"That makes two of us..." I say, studying her closely.

She has aged gracefully... She's still as beautiful as she was the day we met... maybe even more beautiful... . Her hair is a little longer, her eyes shine a little less... But she is still quite possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

"Loving someone who is always on the run has left me empty... lonely." She says, her eyes still closed.

At this point, I have no idea if she's talking about me... or if she's talking about him, if she's talking about Webb...

"And running seems to get us nowhere, doesn't it?" I ask, meaning for her to take the question in its rhetorical sense.

"I wouldn't know... I have never ran." She says, matter-of-factly.

I now know that she is talking about me... Webb does a lot of things, but he never runs from how he feels...

"Some steps should have never been taken..." I say, watching her still. I should never have walked away, I should never have pushed her away...

She folds her hands and places them in her lap. Her eyes remain closed as she lets out a sigh.

"And some steps should have been taken in pursuit of the one who ran..." She says, finally opening her eyes.

I walk over to her slowly and sit down next to her. She glances at me and I have nothing of offer except a small smile.

"You ran, and I should have chased you..." She tells me, softly.

"Mac.." I start but I'm interrupted as she stands and heads towards the door.

"Isn't it ironic that now, when you're tired of running, I find a burst of newfound energy, and while you stand still, I practice the art you have perfected.. I am now running, and I learned how to run by watching you..." With that said, she opens the door.

"Mac, wait... please, wait..." I find myself begging, pleading..

For a moment she turns and looks at me, her eyes full of so many things, and she lets a small sad smile play across her lips before she walks out the door.

A click can be heard as the door shuts...

Why the hell am I just standing here? I should do something...

I do the first thing that comes to mind... I run to the door, throw it open, and chase after her...

She's on the elevator, she sees me coming, yet she does nothing..

"Mac, please... MAC!" I yell, desperately trying to get to her before...

The elevator doors slide together with a click..

My mind is racing as I head towards the stairs...

Down, down, down... I'm panting, racing down the steps, barefooted, wearing boxers and a t-shirt, frantically trying to get to her...

I'm standing in front of the elevator when the doors slide open. She's standing there, crying...

"Mac.." I'm panting too hard to say anything else... "Mac, I..." I still can't catch my breath...

"Harm, how did you... how did you get down here so fast?" She asks, wiping away her tears.

"I have... no... idea." I somehow manage in between breaths.

"Harm, I... It's late... I should go." She stammers, stepping out of the elevator.

"No.. please don't.. I...ran... I didn't want... to let you... get away... again.." I pant, my lungs burning, begging for air.

"Please, don't... not now, Harm... We can talk later... I just need to think things through... I need to.. I need.." She stops, her voice trailing off. Her voice, her eyes are telling me that she doesn't really know what she needs...

I reach out to her and when she makes her way to me, I wrap my arms around her.

"I can be what you need. I am what... you need." I whisper, my breathing taking its time returning to normal.

She is shaking and sobbing in my arms and I am holding her, holding her and promising myself that I will never let her go...

"It's late..." She says again, pulling away slightly.

"Stay... spend the night... We'll talk, we'll... we'll sort things out... Please, don't leave." Once again I am begging.. I don't even recognize my own voice.

"I can't... He's waiting, he's there.. I didn't tell him... He doesn't know I'm here." She tells me, wiping her tears.

"He's not what you need... Please, don't walk away from this, from us.." I tell her, looking into watery brown pools of pain, frustration, and confusion.

"He's not what I need, but... he's all I've got." She says, turning and walking away.

Her words hit me and something deep inside crumbles.

It is possible that the foundation of my life, my existence, my purpose just crumbled...

"But, I... Mac, I..." For some reason, I can't bring myself to tell her..

"You what?" She asks, stopping and turning around to face me.

"I... I feel so much..." I'm trying so damn hard to tell her that I love her...

"You what, Harm? You what? Because I can't keep playing this game and dancing this dance... I can't, not even if you ask me to.. I won't, not even if you need me to.. I'm tired of waiting. I want love... I want something more than this, whatever the hell 'this' is... Whatever it is, it's not enough... I was a fool to think that it ever could be." With that, I watch her turn and head towards her car.

I follow her...

It's raining and the gravel beneath my feet painfully reminds me why shoes are necessary in everyday life. I could care less about the pain.. My t-shirt is soaked, my hair is soaked, and the rain is relentless... I could care less about the rain... All I care about is walking away from me and towards a future with someone else..

"I don't want to play this game anymore, and I don't want to dance... I just want to be with you. I want to be with you!" I'm yelling now, desperate in my attempt to stop her from leaving.

"You want me when you can't have me and when you can have me you don't want me. Make up your mind. Right here, right now... You tell me what you want.." She says, soaked, trying to wipe her hair out of her face. Her tone is not one of anger... instead, her voice is filled with confusion, pain, longing...

"I want to be with you..." I tell her, taking the steps necessary to close the gap between us. "Mac..." I can't say anything, I can't move... all I can do is look into her eyes.

"You'll end up like the rest of them... You'll end up dead or you'll wish you were..." She says, my words on her lips.

"I was a damn idiot to say that... I'm a damn idiot if I let you leave here tonight. Don't go to him, stay with me.. I can't say what you want to hear, but I feel it... I feel it here." I say, placing my right hand over my heart.

"Will that keep you with me, Harm? Is that enough?" She asks, and I can almost feel my heart breaking all over again...

"Yes... I've never felt anything like this, never... I don't need anybody, I don't want anybody... still I find myself wanting and needing you every night when I lay in my bed and stare out into the darkness. Why do you think I went to Paraguay, Mac? Why do you think there's no one in my life but you, why there hasn't been for awhile now? Can't you see? You're it for me. There is no one else. I've tried, I've looked, I've denied what I must have known deep down all along... I want to be with you."

Words fail me, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm just along for the ride, like nothing I say or do will make any difference...

I'm the passenger, and whoever is driving has refused to reveal our destination...

This is the feeling a pilot gets when he knows he's going to crash. There is nothing he can do about it, and so, he accepts his fate...

"How long will you want me? Will you get tired of me like all the others? What if you wake up one morning and decide you can do better?" Her voice cracks and once again, she is crying.

I reach out and cup her face in my hands. "It doesn't get any better than this. It's never been better than this, and it's not going to get any better than this. What I have with you, what I feel for you... I want to be with you." My heart is pounding in my chest, water is obstructing my view, and my feet are killing me... No, wait... it's not my feet that are killing me...

It's her silence that's killing me...

"Let me think things through, Harm... I won't go to him, but I can't stay here. I'll check into a hotel. I need to think, and to think clearly, I've got to be alone.." She says, closing her eyes.

Still cupping her face in my hands I whisper, "Return to me, Sarah... When you've listened to your heart, when you decide to follow your heart... return to me." I kiss her lips lightly, then turn and walk back towards my place.

I hear her start her car and before I am back in the building, the sound of her engine is gone.

I probably won't sleep tonight...

I'm laying on my couch, staring up at the ceiling, and listening to an old CD. The song that I have had on repeat for the last two hours is playing and I'm listening to the lyrics for what seems like the hundredth time...

"_Haven't you found something,_

_Something you'd give up everything to keep?_

_You may have just lost it all..._

_Isn't that why you're crying yourself to sleep?_

_Yeah, she's gone..._

_And you're all lone._

_Your heart is aching,_

_With every beat it's breaking_

_A little more, a little more..._

_Her love kept you warm,_

_And calmed the storms,_

_Isn't that something worth fighting for?_

_The lies are so easy to believe,_

_You're going to tell yourself_

_You've lost it all, and you know it_

_When love is gone, what is left?_

_Yeah, she's gone..._

_And you're all alone._

_Your heart is aching,_

_With every beat it's breaking_

_A little more, a little more..._

_Her love kept you warm,_

_And calmed the storms,_

_Now that's something worth fighting for..._

_You better not let your pride_

_Stand in the way of a beautiful thing_

_You pick up your phone and across town_

_She hears her cell phone ring..._

_She hears your voice.. 'Hey,_

_I just called to say..._

_My heart is aching,_

_With every beat it's breaking,_

_A little more, a little more..._

_I need your love to keep me warm,_

_I need you to save me from the storm..._

_Baby, your love... _

_Now that's something worth fighting for...'_

_Yeah this love, this love..._

_Is worth fighting for..."_

I know I should take this song off of repeat -it's only making things worse- but I can't bring myself to get up off of this couch...

The fact that I hurled the remote to the damn stereo at... something, I don't remember what... hasn't made my situation any better.

The song starts playing again, and I swear to God I feel like I could die.

She said that Webb is all she's got. She is no longer factoring me into the equation. Since when did she decide to do that? And shouldn't she have consulted me first? Since when do I not get to be there for her?

God, I can't remember the last real conversation we had... I can't remember the last time I was honest with her about how I feel about her. I'm a bastard for putting her through this, I know it, but I can't let go... I won't let go. She's the one thing in my life that I am not giving up on. She's worth fighting for...

What the hell is that?

Ugh. Someone's at the door, beating and knocking like a goddamn moron...

Shit, I must have fallen asleep... Sunlight streaking in from the window confirms my suspicions. I somehow managed to fall asleep, oblivious to the world around me... Is that music? Do I hear music? I remember something about a storm, a cell phone, and fighting for something...Oh, yeah, repeat... I put that song about fighting for love on repeat... Whoever invented that feature can go fuck himself...

To say I'm in a bad mood would be an understatement. I'm working my way towards pissed off as I attempt to get up. I'm sore, and my attempt is just that, an attempt. Maybe if I lay here long enough, whoever's at the door will go away and I can take my time getting up... I'm too old for this shit..

"Harm? Are you up? It's me... Open up."

Mattie.

Damn. Guess I'll try to get up again.

Every muscle in my body protests as I push myself up off the couch. I stumble over to my stereo and turn it off...

"Coming.." I yell, making my way to the door. I feel like shit... I probably look like hell...

I open the door and Mattie is standing there, clad in jeans, a t-shirt, and brown suede clogs, smiling. Her facial features change immediately when she sees me.

"What the hell happened to you?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and looking me over.

I'll ignore her language... Far be it from me to tell her what she can and can't say... at least she didn't ask what the fuck happened to me...

"I decided to go dancing in the rain." I say, offering her an attempt at a smile. God, it even hurts to smile... I'm sure my tone has given me away, but right now, I could honestly care a little less.

"Ah, yeah, well, you look... horrible. Are you feeling okay?" She asks, studying me and shaking her head.

"I'll live." I reply, less than enthusiastically.

"Is that blood?" She asks, her eyes growing wide.

I follow her gaze down to my feet and shrug. "Probably. Just for future reference, when dancing in the rain... wear shoes."

She eyes me suspiciously.

She's not buying my Gene Kelley story...

"So, let me get this straight... Last night, in your boxers and a t-shirt, you went outside... and danced in the rain?" Her tone is laced with something that sounds a lot like condemnation mixed with amusement.

"Mac came over." I might as well tell her. She would have pulled it out of me eventually...

"And you guys went dancing in the rain?" She asks, genuinely confused.

"Not exactly... She came over, we talked for awhile... It didn't go too well. I ended up chasing after her." I tell her as little as possible. No sense in humiliating myself further.

"Oh." Her response, I am learning, is typical of a teenager.

"Yeah." I'm a master of articulation myself..

"So, what now?" She asks, so many questions in her eyes.

"She said she needed time to think things through... She checked into a hotel room last night. Webb's at her place I think. So now, I wait..." God, that sounds final, hopeless even.

"You're just going to wait?" She asks, her voice rising a little.

"She said she needed time, Mattie. I can give her time... I'll wait forever if that's what she needs me to do." I say, knowing deep down that truer words were never spoken.

"Ah, yeah, maybe now's a good time to tell you that the worse thing you can give her is space, because while you're giving her space, I guarantee you that Webb is not. By now, he has probably called her and talked her into coming home. So, yeah, tell me again why you're doing nothing but waiting? Where's your phonebook?" She asks, her eyes roving over the familiar surroundings.

"Ah, under the stack of files on the bar, I think. Why?" I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me as usual.

"You go take a shower and get dressed. Leave the rest to me and Jen." She says, carefully pulling the phonebook out from under the stack of files that looks to be about three feet high. Amazingly enough, the stack does not topple over.

"And what are you two going to do?" I ask. I have my suspicions...

"We'll find Mac. Go take a shower, quick, and get dressed..." She says, taking my phonebook and leaving, the door clicking shut behind her. I can hear her footsteps and her yelling, 'Jen, Jen! We gotta help Harm get Mac!'

What have I done?

Half an hour later, I am dressed and towel drying my hair. The tiny scrapes and cuts on the bottom of my feet burn a little as I head into my bedroom.

Damn rocks...

I look myself over in the mirror and decide that the faded jeans and the old Detour 180 Aviation shirt will do. Damn, the shirt's got a small hole in it. Where the hell did that come from? Who cares? Who do I have to impress?

I put on a pair of black hiking boots, grab my keys, and on the way out the door, I slip into my leather bomber jacket.

Mattie must have heard me coming because the door to her and Jen's place flies open and she runs out, waving a piece of paper around.

"We found her! We found her! I talked to her on the phone. She said to tell you to meet her here at noon, that you would know where to find the place." Mattie says, shoving the piece of paper into my hand.

On the piece of paper, "FLANAGAN AIRFIELD- NOON" is written in Mattie's handwriting.

"What are you waiting for? Go! It's nine something now, so if you leave and drive straight there, you'll make it by twelve. You might even be early for once, Sir." Jen says, smiling at me.

"You're wearing that?" Mattie asks disdainfully, the look on her face informing me that she deems my attire inappropriate.

"Yeah. What's wrong with what I've got on?" I ask, looking down at myself. I look fine.

"Where do you want me to start?" Mattie asks, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me back towards my apartment.

Now what?

"She's right, Sir..." Jen says, nodding sympathetically.

"You're going to go tell Mac that you love her and that you want to be with her, and you're wearing that? Men.." Mattie says, as I unlock the door.

"What's wrong with what I've got on?" I ask again.

"Nothing we can't fix." Mattie says, pushing me into my bedroom and going over to my closet.

Mattie and Jen exchange looks then laugh at me. Women...

After searching through pairs of jeans that look identical to me, Mattie tosses me a pair. I examine them. They are faded, blue, and raveling at the bottom.

"These are old, older than the ones I'm wearing now. What's so special about this pair?" I ask, eyebrow raised.

"That pair looks really good on you..." Mattie says, beginning to search through shirt after shirt. "Don't you have something nice?" She asks, turning her nose up at my t-shirt collection. "You know, something that doesn't have US NAVY on it? Something without a bi-plane or the name of an airfield on it?"

"I don't know... What's so special about these jeans?" I ask again. What I have on is perfectly fine...

"They call attention to your ass, Sir." Jen says. This gets a few giggles out of Mattie.

"They WHAT?!" I can't believe I just heard her say what I just heard her say...

"Yeah, they do... Sorry, but, yeah... they do." Mattie says apologetically.

"I'm not trying to get her to look at my... Look, I'm fine the way I am." I say, trying to convince them to let me leave wearing what I have on.

"Here... This shirt with those jeans. Keep the boots and bomber jacket, add aviator sunglasses and a splash of Noticed, and wow... you'll look hot for an old guy." Mattie says, smiling. Jen is nodding in approval of what Mattie has decided I should wear.

What the hell?

Wait a minute? 'Hot for an old guy'? Since when am I 'hot for an old guy'?

"Hot for and old guy, huh?" I ask, amused by the look on Mattie's face.

"I, uh, well.. I meant to say older guy... hot for an older guy. So, yeah, get dressed! Hurry up!" Mattie says, grabbing Jen by the arm and pulling her towards the door. "Good luck!" Mattie says. Jen leaves smiling. Mattie rushes back over to me. She kisses me on the cheek and says, "Don't worry... She's going to pick you. She loves you.."

"How do you know?" I ask, wondering how she can be so sure of something I myself have started to doubt.

"Trust me on this one... When I asked her if she had talked to Webb, she told me that he had called her cell phone, they had talked, and he was heading out on some mission... I just up and call her and tell her that you look like hell, that you need to see her, and she didn't even hesitate... Don't you get it? She's thought things through, and she's leaving him alone. She wants to be with you." She assures me, smiling.

"Or she could be getting me to meet her at the airfield to tell me that she has chosen him, that she wants to be with him. What if she tells me that I don't stand a chance?" I ask, my insecurities eating away at me.

"In English class, we're discussing Shakespeare. He once said 'the course of true love never did run smooth' or something like that... anyway... this is it, this is true love. Ups and downs, wins and losses... She wants to be with you." Somehow, this kid has convinced me that love really is something worth fighting for...

She gives me a thumbs up and is gone.

After putting on the faded jeans and black polo shirt that Mattie picked out for me to wear, I look in the mirror and smile. Turning around and glancing over my shoulder, I realize what Jen meant. They fit rather loosely everywhere else, but they cling to my ass...

What was I supposed to do? Oh, yeah, Noticed... Two sprays, walk through.. Not too strong... just strong enough to announce my arrival..

Wow, Mattie... you sure know how to pick a fragrance... Whatever this is, it's new, and it smells amazing...

Note to self: thank Mattie for the bottle of Noticed...

Once again, I slip my boots on, slip into my jacket, and grab my keys. I fumble through a pile of magazines and papers on my coffee table and finally find my aviator sunglasses. I put them on and I'm out the door.

Once inside my SUV, I'm on the road and heading to Flanagan Airfield. Tom Flanagan, owner of Flanagan Aviation, lets me keep Sarah there. It's closer to JAG, which makes maintenance easier, not to mention that it allows me to take her up every once in awhile. Did I tell Mac that Sarah's there? I don't remember...

I feel like I've been driving forever.

It's a few minutes after eleven.

I take Exit 73 and read a sign that informs me that I'm 45 miles from Flanagan Airfield. Great, I'll be on time for once, maybe even a little early.

I find myself driving and thinking, wondering what I will say, wondering what she has to say to me. My whole life is about to be forever changed in less than an hour...

I pull up next to Mac's Corvette in front of Flanagan Airfield forty minutes later and kill the engine. She's not sitting in her car, so she must be in bay three, waiting for me.

I get out of my SUV, engage the alarm, and head over to Tom's office.

"Morning, Harm." Tom's friendly face offers a smile as he extends his hand.

I shake his hand. "Good morning, Tom. How are things?"

"Great. Business is great. I'm looking to purchase a few new planes first of the year. I think she's waiting for you in bay three. She hasn't been here too long, ten to fifteen minutes at the most." He says, smiling still. "Will you guys be taking Sarah up today?"

"Ah, more than likely... Take care, Tom." I say, heading out towards bay three.

"Oh, Harm?" Tom calls out.

I turn around. "Yeah?"

"I'll be leaving soon... Just lock up when you leave." He says, heading back towards his desk.

I check the handle to the side door and find that it is unlocked. I walk in to find two back packs, a blanket, and a cooler on the ground next to Sarah. Mac's sitting on top of the cooler smiling.

"Hey, Stickboy, you're early." She says, standing up and walking over to me.

"So I am... What's all this?" I say, motioning towards the backpacks, the blanket, and the cooler.

"I was thinking that maybe we could go up for awhile. Tom said there's a clearing about eighteen, maybe twenty miles northeast of here. We can land there, do a little hiking, eat lunch... I just need to get away for awhile..." She says, her words surprising me a little.

"You need to get away for awhile, and you want me to come with you?" I ask, beginning to remove Sarah's cover.

From bay three, I am clear for take off... No maneuvering necessary... Fire her up and it's up, up, and away...

"Yes... Do you mind taking me up, or do you have other plans?" She asks, watching me fold the cover.

"I don't mind. It would be my pleasure. You need to get away for awhile. That's more important than anything I could have planned for today." I tell her, trying, in the best way I know how, to tell her that she's important to me.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." She says, smiling at me.

Just that smile, one smile, and I am positively undone.

Words fail to form a sentence as I do a routine pre-flight examination.

Sarah and I went up two weeks ago, so things should be fine, but I want to make sure. An ounce of prevention is worth ten pounds of cure when it comes to the three of us...

"Everything looks fine... So, are you ready to fly away with me?" I ask, offering her my best flyboy grin.

"Always." She says, picking up the backpacks and packing them behind the rear cockpit.

I pack the blanket and the cooler and climb in. Mac climbs into the rear cockpit behind me. I hand her a pair of goggles and laugh as I hear her groan.

"I hate these damn things." She says, laughing.

"I'm afraid they are a necessary evil... We're clear for take-off, so as soon as you're ready..." My voice trails off and I smile.

"I was born ready, Harm." She says, her rich laughter filling the air.

Nothing compares to this, nothing. Soaring above the trees, the fresh air... God, I live for this... and for her...

After doing a series of rolls, I am rewarded once again with her laughter.

"This is amazing." She says, laughing as I roll once again.

Twenty minutes later, after I have showed off, I ask her if she's ready to land. She says that she is and tells me that she's hungry.

"You? Hungry? What else is new?" I joke, laughing as she playfully hits me on the shoulder.

"We can eat, then go hiking. That fine with you?" She asks.

"Fine by me." I reply, decreasing altitude upon approaching the clearing.

Once we have landed, I climb out of the cockpit and help Mac to the ground. She grabs the two backpacks and the blanket and smiles up at me. I grab the cooler and, once she has spread the blanket out on the ground, I sit down across from her.

"I've missed this." I say, my tone serious. I offer her another smile. "I've missed... us."

"Me too.." She says, a small frown visible.

"So what did you pack for lunch?" I ask, changing the subject on purpose.

The last thing I want to do is go too deep too quick...

"Salad and healthy stuff for you... A meatball sub and some junk food for me. There's water and diet Coke in the cooler." She replies, tossing me a backpack.

"Thanks. Water or diet Coke?" I ask, reaching into the cooler.

"Water." She says, unpacking her lunch.

I hand her a bottle of water and get one for myself.

Before I can even unpack my lunch, she has dumped the contents of her backpack onto the blanket and is already two bites into her sub.

"Damn, Marine... slow down. Chewing is not a sin." I say jokingly.

She rolls her eyes and gives me that look...

"I didn't eat breakfast. Mattie called just as I was walking out the door to go get something..." She tells me, biting her sub again. She opens a bag of chips and continues.  
"I picked up a few things from the store, went back to the hotel room and packed our bags, filled the cooler with drinks and ice, grabbed a blanket, and was gone."

"What made you want to fly?" I ask, shoving a forkful of salad into my mouth... damn, she even remembered to bring a small bottle of my favorite dressing...

"I don't know." She says, opening her bottle of water and taking a small sip. "Like I said, I wanted to get away for awhile... Mattie called and said she was going on strike... something about having to see you in your boxers... anyway, I just decided that I wanted to be with you." She says, talking with her mouth full.

"Our previous flights have been hellacious." I say, smiling and reaching into my backpack for an apple.

"Yeah, well, nobody's perfect... Your landing was smooth enough, and I don't see any poachers or terrorists that will try to take us out, so this promises to be a pleasant experience." She says, finishing off her sub.

I am only halfway finished with my salad, and here she is, finished with her sub, moving on to chips and something Little Debbie has mass produced... Mattie and Mac should have an eating contest... I swear.. They eat more than most morbidly obese men...

"At least with the poacher incident, we ended up sleeping together." I say, smiling at her.

She smiles at me and says, "It's too bad that I'm a deep sleeper... I don't even remember you taking advantage of me."

We both laugh.

She downs what's left of her water and smiles at me.

"You were lucid when I felt a thigh..." I tell her, and at this comment, she rolls her eyes.

"All bark, no bite, Rabb." She says, laughing at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, closing my salad. I take a sip of my water and wait for her response.

"C'mon... let's go for a walk." She says, standing up and stretching.

"Only is you promise to explain your 'all bark' comment." I reply, standing and helping her pack our stuff up.

She folds the blanket. "Deal." She says with a smile.

I can't help but feel like I've just asked for it...

We walk down a path for awhile in silence.

I finally break the silence. "The comment? What did you mean when you said I'm all bark, no bite?" I ask. I sit down on a rock and await her reply.

She sits down on a smaller rock next to me. She's still smiling.

"Just what I said... you're all bark, no bite... When it comes to verbal innuendoes, you're on fire... But just let me get you in the back seat, and you're awkward and shy..." She says, laughing at me once again.

Damn.

She's right...

I talk a good game, but when I step up to the plate, I strike out...

That night in Australia comes to mind... She asked me if that was a request... My mind said yes, my mouth betrayed me... and once again, I stood there... the officer and the gentleman...

"I don't recall ever having been in the back seat with you, Mac." I say, turning towards her.

"God, Harm, I was speaking metaphorically. Besides, my back seat would never work." She says with a laugh.

"Mine would." I say. I smile at her, but on the inside, I am serious..

"You see, that's what I'm talking about... that's exactly what I'm talking about. You flirt with me, lead me on with those innocent eyes, then... Nothing. All bark, no bite." She says, smiling at me, having made her point.

Damn.

As if to prove her right, I give her what she's looking for, I load the gun, then hand it to her..

Brilliant, Rabb..

"All bark, no bite..." I say aloud, wondering how in the world I have gotten myself into this one..

"You can't tell me that you're not guilty... You just did it." She says, smiling, satisfied that she has proven her point yet again.

"What if I was serious?" I ask, playing along.

You want to play, Mac?

Fine...

I play rough.

"Serious about what, Harm?" She asks, eyebrow raised.

"My backseat. Yours wouldn't work. Mine would." I tell her.

Will she go along with this?

This is crazy...

"You want to test my theory?" She asks, her eyes full of a fiery challenge.

Huh?

What theory?

"The 'all bark, no bite' theory?" I ask, wondering if I missed something.

"Yeah... My hypothesis: You'll back out. You'll bark, but there will be no bite.." She says, taunting me.

"Terms and conditions?" I ask, studying her features. I find nothing to suggest that she is joking.

"All the way back to the airfield, we talk... You say whatever you need to say. Once we're in your backseat, no words, no talking at all..." She's laying down the rules.

I am listening, taking it all in...

"Let me get this straight... All the way back to the plane, we talk... Once up in the air, we talk. Once on the ground, all the way to my backseat, we talk.. Then what?" I ask, my mind full of questions...

Is she serious?

Is she out of her mind?

How far will this go?

What do I say to her between now and then?

What if I slip and say something when I'm not supposed to be talking?

Will my occasional moan or grunt count against me?

Should I tell her that I love her, then make out with her?

Will she believe me when I tell her I love her?

Am I dreaming?

Is this real?

"Harm, I don't think I have to explain that to you, but if I have to, I will.." She says, smiling at me...

"No explanation needed... but I have a question." I tell her, completely serious.

"What?" She asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

"What about Webb?" I hate myself for asking, but I have to know...

I can't go into this thing knowing that there's a possibility I might walk away from this with only memories of a backseat romance... not with her...

I can't do this knowing that she'll go back to him...

"What about him?" She asks.

"Is this just a one time thing between us?" I ask, finally asking the question I've been mulling over for the past few minutes.

"It's over between me and him. I called him before I left the hotel room... He left this morning for some mission.. He knows the truth... I think he knew all along that I wanted to be with you. Last night settled some things... You said that you wanted to be with me... that's all I've ever wanted to hear, Harm. Nothing between us has ever been or will ever be just a one time thing..." Her voice is a whisper, and for the first time in a long time, hope floats around inside me...

She ended it with Webb.

She wants to be with me...

The sooner I get to Flanagan Airfield, the sooner I get to make out with Mac...

Hot damn!

"So..." I start, but words flee from me...

"You want to head back towards Sarah?" She asks, flashing me a mischievous grin.

"Sounds like a plan..." I say, standing and helping her up off of her rock.

So, we're going to talk, then make out?

After that what are we going to do?

How far is she willing to let me go?

Should I ask?

What if I am all bark, no bite?

This isn't exactly how I imagined our first time would be... this seems more like a dare...

She made her 'all bark' comment, and to prove her wrong, I'm going to go as far as she will let me go?

This just feels wrong...

Should I tell her how I'm feeling, or just go through with this?

Dammit...

I might as well talk... after all, that's what she wanted me to do, right?

"Hey, Mac?" I begin, wondering how she's going to take this...

We are heading back towards Sarah. In the distance I can just make out her shape...

"Yeah, Harm?" She sounds amused.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." I say, regret spreading from my head to my heart.

"I figured you'd say that." She says, laughing at me.

"Hey, look, it's not that I don't want to make out with you... I do, I really do... it's just that... this doesn't feel right. I always imagined that our first time would be special, you know? We're not teenagers driven by hormones and lust... I just thought that maybe we would date awhile, I'd get a chance to be romantic... dinner, dancing, conversation... This feels like a dare, a challenge..." I say, avoiding eye contact.

Maybe I should take her lack of laughter as a good sign...

"You backing out?" She asks. Her tone is no longer one of challenge...

Dammit, she thinks I'm rejecting her...

"No, no... not at all... I just would like the chance to do this right. You deserve dates, random acts of kindness... You deserve more than what I can do for you in the backseat..." I tell her, finally looking into her eyes.

We are now standing still, and she has a small smile on her face. She's looking into my eyes, and something in them tells me that I have just done something right... for once...

"You want a date? With dinner and dancing?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I do... Don't get me wrong, I would love to make out with you... And, hey, I mean, we can still make out... I just happen to think you deserve more than... that." I tell her, flashing her a big smile.

"I don't know, Harm... Sex in a Lexus..." She says, laughing.

I can feel the heat rise...

Dammit...

"You blushing, Commander?" She asks, laughing at me once again.

"What can I say? You make my temperature rise..." I say, leaning in and planting a kiss on her lips.

When I pull away, she is still smiling.

"Let's take to the skies.." She says, slipping her hand into mine.

We walk hand in hand, talking, until we reach the plane.

Once off the ground, she is laughing...

"Hey, Mac?" I yell.

"Uh-huh?" She replies.

"I love you." I say loudly, yelling over the sound of the engine and the wind.

"YOU WHAT?!" She yells back, obviously caught off guard by my sudden, honest declaration.

"I said... I LOVE YOU." I yell louder this time, and I am rewarded by silence.

Suddenly, her arms are around my neck. She is leaning up from the rear cockpit, hugging me from behind...

"I love you too." Her voice is shaky... it sounds like she is crying..

"I have for forever, you know... loved you, that is..." I say, and I am rewarded by her laughter.

"Land this plane, Flyboy, I've got a Lexus to slip into!" She yells, and I can't help but smile.

I love her.

She loves me.

We're going to make out...

Then we're going to go out on a date...

And then, another date...

And then..

Eventually....

We're going to make love..

This is love...

And that's something worth fighting for...

End.

From here, I will allow you guys to use your imagination...

Have an awesome weekend...


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